Personal Ad

Dear Internet,

This is my mommy. Isn't she pretty. I think she is. She's really good mommy too. Except sometimes she gets made at being called a "spinster." Since she's so touchy, I thought I'd help her out by putting an ad out on the World Wide Web. My auntie, Momma Pug, was more than happy to help.

Let's start with the basics. She needs a nice man (who preferably owns a female chocolate chiuhuhua like me) to take her on a nice date and have a sexy time with her. Here is picture:


I know, we are good looking. So it probably comes as a surprise that my Mommy is on the market. Well, its not her fault. You see, my Granny Bitch and I don't usually like the idea of her having a man. (Less attention for us, if she did.) But, then we got to thinking -- maybe should she "marry up" that it could be a good deal for all of us.

So, in closing let me list what we, I mean, Mommy is looking for.

Must be tall, slightly chubby (not frail and skinny.)

Must have some large and full in the pants... and by that I mean a wallet. (I know what you were thinking, pervert.)

And not just money -- ALOT of money. Independently wealthy.

Professionally successful.

Must not have baggage like children or crazy ex-wives.

Dead wives are okay, as long they died of natural causes.

Must love puppies.

And food.

And girlie movies.

But not be secretly gay.

Also, must dote on me, I mean her. And not be jealous or controlling.

If you feel you have met these MINIMUM qualifications, send Momma Pug an e-mail and we'll begin our background check and interview process. (Be prepared to submit your social security number and a urine sample.)

Psychos, momma's boys and whiners need not apply.

Sincerely,
Rio